I Wish You Loved Me
by KISAFREEDOMNESS
Summary: I know she doesn't love me. I know that, and yet.... A Hitsu/Hina fic with one-sided Kira/Hina by Kisa. Rated T just to be safe for later chapters for langauge. Not dirty! D: Title may change
1. Kira's thoughts

Author's Note: Okay. This is Kisa, not Kyou. Amazingly. Well, I am a bit ashamed of myself for not updating my other fic. It's because I'm lazy and lots of things are going on around here. Eventually it will be updated. Now this fic is about Bleach, because I love HitsuHina and I had to torture Kira-san. Gomen! (To Kira and for not updating) Can you blame me for being awake at 12:46 AM and suddenly coming up with a fantastic idea?! (I know I am going to wake up and forget what to type.) Anyways, this fic is in Kira's point of view.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bleach.

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**I Wish You Loved Me**

**A Bleach fan fiction by Kisa **

One-sided Kira/Hina, Hitsu/Hina

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Here I am, watching her in her sleep. Well, you could call it "sleep". More like a coma than sleep. Stalker much? Maybe. But now this is the only way I can spend time with her- sitting by her bedside, knowing full well that if she wakes, I might never get a chance to be near her like this again.

It makes me sad.

I know who Hinamori-san will always go sailing to when we have free time- it's always the child prodigy. Once upon a time it would be Aizen, but let's not talk about that. Last I remember, Matsumoto missed Gin. I'm not sure if she still does. Hinamori missed Aizen. I missed Gin. Now, everything's changed.

I hate it all, but I love her.

It hurts me to think that she must love someone else.

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Ending note: All for now. I have to get some sleep- it's like 1:20 AM now. Also- Don't get mad at me! I still like kira! Toshiro might be in the next chapter. 


	2. Thoughts 2

Author's Note: Hello again! This is Kisa-chan here. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who is reading this story right now, and thank you to Kyou-kun. I also want to state that the whole story will not always be in Kira-san's P.O.V, and that it could just be in third person, but I'll usually say what it is up here. (In case you couldn't tell, it's Kira's point of view again.) Anyways, I just realized something. When I type a story (when I'm not lazy) it's always around late hours. Like my last chapter, I couldn't go to sleep without typing the idea that came to my head. Maybe 12:00 is like a magical hour for Kisa?

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, Hitsugaya would be with Momo and Aizen would be dead.

You opened your eyes today.

I was so happy, knowing that I would get to see you awake again. Yet that happiness was short-lived- the pain of knowing I couldn't be near you like this again smothered any happiness inside me.

When Rangik-san told me that you were awake, I immediately rushed over. I had so much to tell you- things that I couldn't tell you when you were asleep. I knew I wouldn't know where to start, but… when you were comatose, I knew I could spend time with only you. I also knew it wouldn't have mattered if I said something to you; how could you hear me? I'll always remember sitting next to you in that cold, empty room, but you won't remember a thing. For me, they will be my most treasured memories and you won't even remember it happened. There was also the possibility that eventually, since no one would remember, all this time with you may cease to be a memory and turn into a dream. A long, empty dream that you will never, ever remember.

However, the closer I got to your room, the less it mattered to me. I vowed to make new memories with you- ones you will remember. When I finally arrived at your room, you weren't alone.

He was with you.

Then it occurred to me that making new memories- just you and me- might never happen.

No matter how hard I tried.

to be continued… 


	3. Toshiro's thoughts

Editor's Note: Originally part of the last chapter, but since it changes point of view, we decided to make it it's own chapter. Hitsugaya's point of view now. Enjoy!

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Generally, my days are monotonous- never ending, never changing. Work. Yell at Matsumoto for not doing her work and drinking sake- again. Go back to work. Cold shower. Bed. 

As you can see, you're not in my day.

This isn't my fault. If it was up to me, you'd be there every second. So why can't I go see you? Why aren't you there? Because of- surprise!- stupid work. Because of the paperwork that I have to do when Matsumoto gets a hangover, and of course I have to do them because we can't afford to make any mistakes now. Because of my share of paper work. Because I'm in charge of your division now and I have to check of everything. So that's why I can't visit you. There's no time. You try keeping your division in check when you've got two of them.

And it's not like I don't know why Matsumoto's drunk all the time. She drowns her problems in alcohol. She has nightmares. Of whom you ask? I don't know. That's why

I don't chew her ass all the time- no matter how much I want to- and I do her paper work. Come on, even I'm not that cold hearted- though I control ice. I wish I could control my schedule so I can see you.

I wish I could make my all days consist of you instead.

I haven't seen you in months. If I could, I would quit being a captain just

so I could see you. But right now I can't. You don't need a reminder why. No one does. God, I can't even see you in my dreams. Half-formed as they may be, I still dream. But every time I see you, I have to wake up. I told Matsumoto if she was going to keep having hangovers, the least she could do was wake me up when I was supposed to be awake. I kind of regret saying that to her now, but it's not like I get- or need- a lot of sleep. I haven't slept long enough just to have a real dream. It's all work for me. Thank God that Ukitake offered help- even if he did annoy me with that stupid candy again. With his help, I might even be able to sleep long enough to have a real dream.

I hope it's only of you.

The week after Ukitake offered help, I had more free time. Somebody told me- I don't remember who, but it doesn't matter- that you were out of your coma. Just hearing that…. that made up for all the days of crappy work. I was so happy that I would have let Matsumoto get drunk while she was doing her paper work- for the first time. Of course I didn't- it wouldn't have been proper when she was actually doing work. I guess she doesn't have those dreams anymore.

Anyways, I went to go see you and didn't give a damn about what I was going to say when I saw you. All that mattered was that you were awake.

"Shiro-chan!"

_[to be continued…_

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Ending note: I amazed myself. I typed a lot this time! It's like... 11:28 now. I really should go to bed. Kisa has just written for about an hour without getting annoyed! insert applause here Well, I don't know the next time I will be able to update. Probably like a Saturday or something because I'm not supposed to stay up on weekdays and Kisa only works good before she goes to sleep. Thanks to all who are reading this again! I'm going to let you in on a little secret. This was originally supposed to be a one-shot but then ideas came pouring in. Is that a good thing? Ah well- sayonara! 


	4. Talking to you talking to him

Author's Note: Haha. I'm sorry I lied; I wasn't able to type it on Saturday because my family came over, and I got sick. That's why I wasn't able to write this chapter on Saturday; I had to do it during school in science class. That guy (our teacher) never knows what you're doing and everyone always does homework for other classes there. I've got the flu now, so I won't be updating as often... Oh God I feel sick. -runs-

This chapter is in third-person again.

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Momo threw her arms around Toshiro. For once he didn't mind – he evenhugged her back. That was until five minutes passed, and he began to get annoyed. 

"…Uh… Hinamori?" Momo realized what she was doing and quickly let go. There was silence as Hitsugaya pulled up a chair to sit by her. Momo tried to say something, but the sound quickly died in her throat. "What is it Hinamori?" Toshiro asked. Momo lifted her head and took a deep breath.

"Shiro-chan...I wanted to say...I'm sorry! I'm sorry for doubting you; I can't believe I ever tried to attack you! I was confused at the time… I..." Momo burst into tears. Toshiro was taken aback by her sudden apology and even more so when she began to cry.

"Ah! Hinamori…uh…wait, you don't have to- I mean…don't cry! Please don't cry!" he said, practically begging. Upon hearing this, Momo, slowly but surely, managed to compose herself. Toshiro took advantage of the short silence to say something. "Look, Hinamori, there's no need for you to say all this. I know that you were shocked at everything that happened. I was really worried

about you and I couldn't even protect you that well. The only thing that matters to me now is that you are okay. So please, don't

cry anymore… or apologize." Toshiro turned his face away from her. Momo, still processing this new information, looked up at him.

"Thank you, Shiro-chan."

Toshiro turned his head and, finally relaxing, retorted, "I thought I told you to stop calling me 'Shiro-chan', bed-wetter!"

"Mou, Shiro-chan, I don't wet the bed anymore! You said you would stop calling me that!" Toshiro finally gave her one of his rare

smiles. Then, noticing movement by the door, got up from where he was sitting and inspected the hallway. "…Kira?!" he

exclaimed, slightly surprised. _What is he doing here? _he thought._ Didn__'__t he spend enough time with Momo already? Was that _

_time not enough for him? I didn__'__t get to spend a second with her. Bastard, go away! _Kira walked in slowly as if he was

greatly shocked by something. Toshiro's –_God, this never happens, _he thought wryly to himself- worried side took over. "Izuru-

san, is something wrong?" Kira finally realized what his face must look like. _Don__'__t __let it show, don't let her worry about it, _he

murmured to himself._ I won__'__t lose... right? _Kira lifted his eyes from the floor and gave Momo and Toshiro a warm smile. "No,

nothing's wrong at all. How are you today, Captain Hitsugaya?" Toshiro nodded his head toward him. Kira slid a chair to the other

side of Momo's bed. Momo gave him a smile. Although Kira was happy, he couldn't help but think that that wasn't the same smile

that she had while hugging Hitsugaya. "How are you doing, Kira-san?" Kira took a minute to compose himself. Before he could

answer her, she asked again,"Is anything new going on?" Kira didn't know whether to be saddened or relieved. _So she doesn__'__t _

_know that I was here all this time with her... Of course. Why did I even hope Momo would remember? Why did I think _

_that? _"Hinamori-chan…..I feel that I should apologize to you. I should have never trusted Gin, but I…." Momo shook her head,

stopping him. "Nothing's wrong, Kira-san. You don't need to apologize." Momo made a movement to grab his hand. At that

moment, Toshiro felt anger spring up from deep inside him. Luckily, whatever Kira was about to say was interrupted by the vice-

captain of the fourth division, Isane."Excuse me, but Captain Unohana says it's not good for Hinamori-san to have visitors at this

time." Momo withdrew her hand and Kira wasn't sure whether to feel happy or disappointed. Meanwhile, Toshiro was still naïvely trying to figure out why he was angry back then. He stood up. "I guess we have to go now. I will come by to see how you are

doing tomorrow, okay, Hinamori?" Momo smiled and waved goodbye, laying her head on her pillow. Kira stood up and walked

out the door with Hitsugaya, leaving Hinamori deep within her thoughts.

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End note: You know what's magical? Reviews. You know what's even more magical? Reviews with an idea for the chapter after the next one. 

Sneak peek: next chapter is titled "Awkward Conversation."


	5. Awkward Conversation

Author's Note: -fangirl spasm- LOL LOL LOL. Kisa's ACTUALLY LETTING ME DO A GUEST CHAPTER FOR HER FANFICTION. D Anyways, enjoy! :D Oh, right. This fanfic is in third-person cus I'm... comfortable writing like that. I actually think in third-person, which makes this all the easier for me. So there we go. xD

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The way back was awkward for the both of them. After all, they had seen each other in passing before. They were both friends with Momo, but that was where the similiarities ended. They were totally different- one an icy captain, the other an awkward lieutenant. They would occasionally greet each other, whether it was simply with a "hn" or a nod of the head. But they never spoke.

However, as it was, they were walking next to each other and the silence had settled over them like a thick fog. As you may or may not have experienced, walking next to someone without saying something is extremely difficult. A wall of awkwardness builds up until _someone _cracks.

That someone was Kira.

"Um, so..."

Toushirou stared back at him with one of his signature icy glares. After all, Toushirou is definitely not the easiest person to talk to and he was already irritated from earlier's experience. "What do you want?"

This, of course, was not the reaction that Kira was expecting. Generally in polite society, when someone has been walking next to you for the past ten minutes and says something to you, you do not answer with "What do you want?" or any other similar snide remark. But, as we all know, Toushirou could care less about the ways of polite society.

"Well, generally, when someone's walking next to you talk to the-"

"I don't."

"...oh."

Toushirou hoped that the rest of the walk would go on in silence. Nonetheless, Kira seemed to have other plans in mind.

"Ah, you're friends with Momo, right?"

Toushirou stiffened at the mention of Momo. "...so what?" Kira smiled.

"Yeah, she's my friend too."

Silence. Then Kira again-

"You really care for her, huh?"

Toushirou spun around, surprising Kira and knocking him off-balance. "What?!"

"Ah- I just... I just meant that... you two are really close, so I just..."

The captain's green eyes searched the other's blue ones for any trace of a lie, but found none. "Yeah," he sighed. "I guess you're right."

Kira simply nodded.

Toushirou, still thinking about earlier, took a deep breath. "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it, Hitsugaya?"

"What is Hinamori-chan to you?"

Kira stopped in his tracks. Hitsugaya, who was more annoyed than surprised, turned around. "Izuru?" Kira was silent for a moment, but finally spoke.

"She's a good friend of mine. We've been friends for a while, and... that's all. Why?"

Hitsugaya seemed to sigh, relieved, but Kira wasn't sure and therefore didn't comment.

"Ah, forget it. It's fine."

"Right..." Kira was nervous standing in Hitsugaya's presence. "Well... uh, not to be rude or anything but..." He gestured vaguely.

"...what? What are you doing?"

"It's... this is my division," he stammered nervously.

"Oh. Well."

"So... bye!" He seemed to practically run off.

Hitsugaya sighed. At least he had learned an interesting bit of information...

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End note: HURR HURR HURR I WROTE A HETERO FANFIC CHAPTER. XD This is incredibly uncharacteristic of me. There's probably about FOUR pairings I like that are het (compared to the innumerable yaoi pairings I have). It's freaking amazing :0 Anyways. Hope I did this fanfic justice! -deep bow-


	6. Momo's nightmare

AN: Yay! I finally had time to type this. Okay, so this chapter was kind of difficult for me, because I am not that great writing about nightmares. However, I did try to do my best, and I know it's crappy. Please don't hurt me!

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, pigs would sprout wings and still wouldn't be able to fly.

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Momo Hinamori was having trouble sleeping. Sure, she had just woken up from a coma and confronted her friends… and reality. It isn't easy when the person you trust above your own life tries to kill you. Of course that would give you thoughts about who to trust. Momo was getting scared. What if the same thing happened again? She didn't want to lose another person dear to her.

"Please don't take him away. Don't let Shiro-chan… be taken away." Someone she treasured. Someone who protected her. Someone she loved. Wait… loved? Where did that come from?

_Before all the things that happened, I never really thought of Shiro-chan that way, _she mused._ I just remember having this feeling all the time when I ever talked to him. Now… it's growing stronger. I felt it when he was the first to come see me when I woke up._

Momo sighed. Why did feelings have to be so complicated? Why couldn't it be just straightforward? They -the person- only give you hints by saying things. For example, they say that the person you are in love with could say a single thing that could make you very sad, or very happy. _Happy__…_

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"_Ah! Hinamori…uh…wait, you don't have to- I mean…don't cry! Please don't cry!" _

"_Look, Hinamori, there's no need for you to say all this. I know that you were shocked at everything that happened. I was really worried about you and I couldn't even protect you that well. The only thing that matters to me now is that you are okay."_

"_So please, don't cry anymore…or apologize."_

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"Yeah," she murmured. "That made me so happy. It was like something finally made me feel peaceful."

_Peaceful…_

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Darkness. That's all she could see. Momo squinted her eyes. _Was that a light?_ A scene materialised in front of her. It appeared to be a peaceful place by a river. She looked around with a smile on her face. It was so beautiful, the running water, the plants, the sun, the shade made by the trees… like time had stopped… Momo's smile vanished as an object fell at her feet. She looked down and saw…

"…A flower?" Why did a flower just fall from the sky? More specifically… a rose? The rose was indeed beautiful. The only thing that scared Hinamori a bit was that the red colour of the rose was more blood-red, more sanguine-coloured than a normal rose. She bent to pick it up and hold it to her face, but as she touched the stem it began to die. When she finally held it up to eye level, it was completely wilted.

"...Hi… na," a voice called. What was that? "…mori." She turned her head toward the direction of the voice. "Hinamori." The voice was coming from across the river. The person who was standing there was none other than Toshiro Hitsugaya. He had a smile on his face. _A rather sad smile_, she thought idly. _He should at least try to cheer up._ Momo waved to him.

"Shiro-chan, why are- " Toshiro interrupted her.

"Momo, you can't reach me," he said sadly. Momo was mystified by his words.

"Of course I can't reach you Shiro-chan, you're on the other side of the river," she giggled. Right after she had spoken, that the river disappeared. The only thing that was left was Toshiro, standing in the darkness. She realised that his smile wasn't the only thing that was sad; so were his eyes.

"You would be happy if I left rather than Aizen leaving, huh?" Momo stood there in shock as he continued. "If I had gone instead of him, you would be able to have him here with you. That's when your heart would feel content, huh? Because I won't be here to distract you. You'd be very happy, huh?" His smile disappeared as he turned away from Momo.

"If I leave now, then you will feel better. Bye, Hinamori-san."

Momo stared in disbelief at her childhood friend. "W-wait… no, Shiro-chan you can't do tha- don't leave me! Don't leave me all alone!" _The one person I thought would never leave me__…__ is disappearing before my eyes._

Momo ran toward Toshiro. When it looked like she was close enough to grab his hand, he disappeared completely and Momo was falling in the darkness. When she opened her eyes, she could not see anything. No matter how wide she opened her eyes, Momo could see nothing but black, endlessly stretching on and on. Then, a figure began to form in front of her. "…Aizen?" she said, surprised. Aizen spared her a glance, and turned his back on her.

Once upon a time, when Aizen hadn't tried to take over Soul Society, she would have been heartbroken if he had done that to her. For some reason now, it didn't hurt her. Aizen drew his sword and swung it around him as if he was fighting someone. It seemed to Momo that whomever he was fighting was putting up a pretty good fight. _Wait a minute__... _He appeared to be fighting not one, but two people. Suddenly, Aizen brought his sword down hard in midair, quick and sure. Momo had thought he was play-fighting with the air, but another person materialized at the edge of Aizen's sword. It was Matsumoto.

"Rangiku-san!" Momo screamed, but Matsumoto was already on the ground, blood pouring out of her wound. Aizen continued fighting the other person she couldn't see, now with a proud sneer on his face. Momo could only stare in horror as the sneer turned into an insane laugh. Momo ran to Matsumoto. "Rangiku-san! Are you all right? " she asked, allowing herself the small hope even though she already knew the answer. Momo felt tears flow out of her eyes. One tear fell to the ground, starting a ripple effect, like a drop of water falling into a still pond. The ripples brushed the darkness away; the black came crashing down like shattered glass. Momo could finally see what was happening. Soul Society was in complete chaos. There were dead Hollows, Arrancars and Shinigami. Some were half-dead, while others were still alive, covered in the blood of their comrades.

Still fighting.

Momo watched as Kurosaki Ichigo fended off hollows who were trying to attack a wounded Ishida. Orihime was hurriedly healing Ishida and every shinigami she could reach. Rukia-san was with her brother. All the captains were scattered across the battlefield. Momo looked up to see who Aizen was fighting this whole time- none other than her beloved Shiro-chan. His name tore its self out of her throat.

"Toshiro-kun!" Toshiro wasn't able to look at her. _Not that he doesn't want to_, she thought hopefully. _He looks really busy. _Momo was a bit hurt he didn't try to look at her. She tried not to let it get to her; after all, he WAS busy fighting his mortal enemy. Toshiro parried an attack that was aimed for his neck. Aizen smirked.

"You know, this is starting to get boring." Aizen lowered his voice and said something that obviously angered Toshiro. Aizen turned his face toward Momo, his sword arm raised. She slowly stood up. When she thought that it was over, the sword was going to fly toward her, Toshiro suddenly appeared in front of her. He grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. At the moment, all time stopped for Momo. She closed her eyes to take in the feeling. His hug was warm and soft; he held her tightly.

"Momo, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. Goodbye." Momo couldn't say anything. She threw her arms around him, but felt something damp. She opened her eyes, and to her utmost horror, she saw blood. She moved her arm farther and felt the cold steel of Aizens sword in Toshiro's back.

"S-Shiro-chan!" Momo cried as he went limp. Aizen was laughing maniacally, cackling as he turned to stab an unsuspecting Ichigo in the back as well. Momo screamed loud enough to wake the dead.

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AN: Phew! That's it for right now. I hope some of you didn't forget that she was just having a dream. For a minute, even I forgot and it's my story! I shall put up the next chapter as soon as I can! Kisa works faster when she gets reviews.

Sneak peek:

_Kira walked slowly up to the door, and pressed his ear against it. Then he heard a rather weird conversation: "Momo! Put it in your mouth!!"_

_"No! You can't make me!!"_

_"You have to!"_

_"Why?!"_

_"Because I said so! It's for your own good and I promise you're going to feel great afterwards!"_

_Kira burst through the door to find…_

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_Sneak peek may look different in next chapter._

Editor's Note: OMG ISHIDA ;A; Uh... that's all **I **have to say xD;;


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